Chicken Envy


So I want chickens

I have neighbors with chickens

I have blog friends with chickens
Like my friend Brooke,
who takes her chickens with her when she travels

and Andrea
who loves her chickens like children

In fact many bloggers I love...
 have wonderful coops too,
 like this one here,
 only better...

I now have coop envy too...
clearly this is becoming a problem...

 Me ....I got nothin'! 
no coop
no chicken's 


 OK...moving right along...

What should I do about this?
I mean this is serious

Lets review the facts:

Am I a capable chicken farmer? least I think so

I mean I have a dog
She's pretty easy to please,
so it couldn't be all that hard
could it? 

Maybe I should hire a chicken wrangler?
That sounds good!
I give him total control.
I wonder what they charge?
Hmmm..... could get expensive

I know!
 I'll ask my neighbor Christine,
She likes animals

Guess what she said?

"Take care of your own frickin chickens"

 and then she added

"Get a life Kelley!"

we're back to the chicken wrangler

 My chosen chicken personnel 
will be the following:


He will teach me...this chicken wrangler guy

Maybe we will fall madly in  love, 
the chicken guy and I...

It will be a weird relationship

 Because he probably likes this:

And I like this:


this will never work

I don't really know any chicken guys any way... 
And what is with the goofy hat Mister?
And where is your shirt?

But, as you may have guessed.....

I still want chickens 

I'm over it...

chicken's can wait
is goofy anyway


never mind


then again...I wonder if you can have chickens in a Condo?
  1. We have two Rhode Island Red them and built my own coop! I have pictures of it on my blog! Get some, they are so fun and have the most unique personalities.

  2. I want chickens too...And I can relate to coop envy! LOL!

  3. we just got chickens. are in the process of building a chicken coop. hopefully we can keep them alive and get some yummy eggs.

  4. Im just wondering....I see all these cute coops too, but where is all the POOP?! I would LOVE to have chickens and eggs and all that fun stuff, but I think I would need to hire a "chicken poo cleaner" so I wouldnt have to do it....and they will need to wash the eggs for me too. Ewwww....gross.
    I think I just want an adorable chicken coop. Minus the chickens :)

    Oh, check out Tiffany's coop.....SERIOUSLY?! That is the coop de ville ;)

  5. Yes...I have been thinking about chickens myself and saw the most awesome coup in a had a flower bed on cute!! Loved your post...made me laugh!

  6. my sister in law has some of those too. you have to be careful though - they get eaten by other animals!!! they are so cute though. one of hers is name Joni because she has this big white plume and it looks like a hat and it just reminds them of me for some reason.

  7. I am a chicken farmer wannabe also! I want you to join the chicken farmer ranks so we can all admire your fun vintage coop with a little bit of red color! I know you would design a coop that was awesome! Lol

  8. My husband had chickens growing up and loved it. He has some great chicken stories to tell, including when he used to let all the chickens inside the house when he got home from school before his dad got home! Can you imagine? Cute post!

  9. I LOVE my chickens. They are easy keepers my friend... and contrary to popular belief as long as you keep clean straw in the coop you'll have clean eggs ;) Here's a couple of new little babies I got a couple of weeks ago.

  10. so i'm trying to get my yard ready for chickens friend rob is THE chicken guy (he's been on animal planet as THE CHICKEN EXPERT, so he's the real deal). he could probably help you navigate the chicken world....his website is anyway....i don't know anything about chickens either....but i know i want em

  11. Well, I have news for you...the second picture down? The one of the chickens in the carriers? yeah..that one!?! Well, one of those carriers is NOT a's a vote NO- NO CHICKENS FOR YOU...because if you can't tell a chicken from a dog..well, there's a bit of a problem it?;>) And that's all I'm sayin' about that! xxoo Diana

  12. Kelley,

    I'm seriously dying over this post.
    First, I think I could LIVE in Heather's chicken coop - that is the cadillac of all chicken coops.
    Second, I thought you seriously had found a chicken whisperer....that looked like that guy,
    Third, I think the shirt he's wearing must make chicken wrangling easier. I dunno - just a thought.
    Fourth, your neighbor sounds rad.
    And last, with that insane garden that you take care of - I'm going to venture to say you can handle chickens.

  13. uh, you know how I feel about chickens! I have chicken envy too and thought I would have chickens by now, but the husband thinks it's a really bad idea. He thinks I won't clean the coop, etc. Seeing Brooke's chickens makes me really want them though. If we lived full time in Asti, I would definitely have chickens! I even have a coop! Why don't you get them and I'll live vicariously through you!

  14. Your chicken man cracks me up! Shirt? Hat? too funny. The beer/wine thing would be weird!

  15. Kelley,

    This post is just too funny! :) I have a thing for cows. I've already mentioned it to the man I've been dating for a while: if things get really serious, he had better know I want a small farm one day, complete with a few cows and goats and piglets. hahaha! Thanks for posting! Take care!


  16. We've been dying to do a coop too. My son's kindergarten teacher is a chicken expert! Did you see my last post? : ) Maybe we can pick her brain together! Just be careful in this neighborhood if you do go ahead because the coyotes and raccoons are relentless.... it has to be a VERY secure coop with chicken wire on the ground (under the dirt) so the carnivores don't dig under. Of course, I'll need a chicken man too : )

  17. PS. Everyone I know that has chickens says it's easy : )

  18. I want a coop because I have seen some that are SO dang cute. I want Brooks chickens because they are SO dang cute. But...put them together and you have work.....chicken work. And I already have enough work. Fun to dream though :)

  19. Great post!! I really want chickens, but Papi says he would end up being the one taking care of them, and the answer is "no". He's probably right, but I still want chickens. LOL

    Have a God Filled Day

  20. Hi Kelley,

    Enjoyed your post! I also fell in love with Brooke's chickens.... they're adorable and free range eggs are the best; but unfortunately, they wouldn't work with our lifestyle. One can dream though:)

  21. that was fun! I suffer from it as well! I am fascinated with Brooke Giannetti's chickens too...did you view the video of their stylish sanctuary?

  22. You're sooooo cute Kelley....but I swear sometimes we have mental telepathy.....I think since we both just read about those cute chicks on Velvet and Linen we both have chicken envy. Just last night, promise, I asked Steven "do you think at the new house they'd allow chickens?" cuz they have HOA restrictions there...he likes the chicken idea....but I don't know , it's truly just a fun thought. I'd really research everything, cuz i've had more pets for my kids, only to learn it's alot more work than I bargained for...except for my sweet cats and dogs.

    Brooke, we need more chicken info girl!

    Kelley, you're writing is always fun....

  23. How 'bout some marshmallow peeps? Will they satisfy your craving? :)

  24. K,
    I love the IDEA of having chickens in a darling coop in the back yard. But there are only 2 little, nagging concerns...Irvine won't allow them and (like one of the other readers) is there more poop than we realize? Hubby had a duck as a little boy and said there was lots of poop. With 2 dogs and a cat I may be capped out. I'll live vicariously through Brooke over at Velvet and Linen!
    :-) Karen

  25. Ha! love it! I think if you want chickens you should get yourself some! It cant be that hard, right? I think they are good at eating all your food scrapes so that means less garbage to take out! :)
    Now that I think about it, my brother had chickens once - when he was living in metro atlanta. I think it was majorly against code in the city, but he's a rebel like that. He now lives in Morr Bay, Ca so he doesnt have the chickens anymore, but I'll have to ask him how that whole chicken thing went. I'll report back ;)

  26. I have often considered chickens as well. I love to garden. The only problem is I had a yellow lab as well. He loved chickens...if you know what I mean?

  27. This post made me smile so big! :-D

    And by the way, I want chickens too...going to look at a little farm (complete with chicken coop) later this week....who knows.....


  28. Best... Post... Yet. Laughing so hard!! Growing up on a farm in middle of nowhere Oklahoma, I never realized how I had it made (riiiight). Then I moved to the city and now I want chickens too! I'd much rather have your garden though, and a cool little chicken coop instead of this ugly barn thing my dad built in an afternoon that the cows lick so much the paint is coming off. Horrid. Sigh. Thanks for the funny read!

  29. your home in ojai is screaming for chickens! i promise to help. really! i could be your chicken wrangler, but i like martinis, not beer :)


  30. I think we have all become a little nutty over this subject...maybe I should get a goat instead?

    xo kelley

  31. You may have heard me...I just totally cracked are too funny!

  32. Chickens!! Do you know how many eggs a day 10chickens can lay???? Got 4 so the grans could have the experience, our gardner brought 6 more in case one or two expired etc. They all survived to provide me w/ 8-12 eggs a day!!!Yikes-giving them to anyone who showed up at the house, delivering them to friends. We (the grans & I) got very attached. Alas after 3 years the coyotes raided my coop with buried wire 2ft deep and end of my sad chicken story! Do an aviary instead.. I have very attractive one (my grans again!) finches, cockateals and parakeets -colorful, happy noisy and fun..xo CO

  33. Anne at meadzmail@aol.comMarch 29, 2011 at 7:00 PM

    Oh my gosh, I just subscribed to your post last week and I'm already loving it. You -- and Joni, of course -- make me laugh. Thanks so much for that.

  34. You'd be the best chicken Mama Kelley!! and with Brooke helping out, martini's and white could you go wrong?!!
    Mr.24 has always wanted chickens AND mini goats...we'll see about the goats, but we might one day have the chicks, the kind that lay the pretty eggs, pretty eggs are important...they are!! ;)
    xo J~

  35. Love, love, love you blog! Sorry about your chicken/coop envy. I was watching the cooking show "Extra Virgin" last week and they also had chicken issues. They were going to Tuscany and needed a chicken babysitter while they were gone.

    Good luck to you, maybe just start out with 2 baby chickens? You could keep them in the bathroom?

  36. Hey, I just started reading your blog recently. You are too funny and you crack me up. Every time I see a big ole barn and animals I get farm/barn envy. I want to put big old wellies on and go and feed the animals in the muck. This is probably not going to happen, but I totally understand the chicken envy. And that ladys chickens that were in the car, were really cute!!! I say get 2, and then every year just keeping getting an extra one. You can learn slow, but you need to have more than 1, or that chicken will just be lonely.

  37. Just remember:

    If you don't have a coop,
    You don't have poop!

    Seriously, we had ONE duck for awhile, which my daughter watched incubate and hatch in elementary school and just "had" to bring home to live with her. My husband said that all that duck did was eat and POOP!! Imagine chickens are much the same. Check this part out thoroughly before you ever give in and get chickens.

    A friend of ours has lots of acreage and has chickens. Got some fresh eggs one time from them, which was nice. They got their chicks as they eat ticks, and they both had gotten Lyme Disease three times.

    I must admit, however, that Brooke's chicken are the cutest things! But I also have a Bichon Frise! lol!


  38. I am a recent follower of your blog and you make me laugh. You are a hoot. Actually, all of this chicken stuff has put a few thoughts into my head...........but, I am afraid someone in our neighborhood will think I have lost it. Someone has already taken the plunge......she has chickens and a chicken house. She is a fellow designer and hmmmm.............then our wonderful Brooke did it and all was right with the world.
    You are wonderful your wonderful sense of humor.

  39. Love her or hate her - we can all thank Martha and her pretty Araucana eggs for the current chicken craze.
    It's also nice to see eggs enjoying a food Renaissance these days.
    Good luck with your chicken envy!

  40. Your chicken story is hilarious! Well done.
    Thank you, I needed a good laugh today :~)
    Karon Jean

  41. Wonderful and funny post. I am on the floor laughing. I lived in Ojai many years ago and loved it. I have hopped over today from LaDolfina to say hello. I also have chicken and coop envy. But, I also have alpaca envy! I really want an alpaca. Have you been to the alpaca ranch in Somis(near you)? I had sincerely thought of getting one and boarding it there because I doubt they would let me have an alpaca as a pet in Santa Monica. If you go to the alpaca ranch please tell Cindy "hi" for me. She probably knows of a great chicken wrangler in your area too.
    So nice to have found your blog!
    PS. Diana is correct...the other cage in Brooke's car has dogs in it. It would be good to know the difference. As Diana would say, "I'm just saying..."


~*~love to hear from you~*~

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.