If you need to smile read this post!


 Children Writing About the Ocean...
1)  -  This is a picture of an octopus. 
It has eight testicles.   (Kelly,  age  6)                                                               
) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age  6)                       

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. 
 If you don't have ocean all round you, 
you are incontinent.   (Mike, age  7)                
4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily       
Richardson . 
She's not my friend any more.   (Kylie, age   6)                                                                                

5) - A  dolphin breaths through an asshole 
on the top of its head.  (Billy, age  8)                                                               

6) - My  uncle goes out in his boat 
with 2 other men and a woman and pots
 and comes back with crabs.  (Millie, age  6)                                 

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds
 to cross the ocean.  
Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle
 to make the wind come.  
My brother said they would have been better off eating beans.  (William, age 7)                                             

8) -   Mermaids live in the ocean. 
I like mermaids.  
They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, 
but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? 
Like, really?  (Helen, age 6)                                              

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. 
My baby  brother is always crying, 
my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, 
so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age  6)                     

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting.   
Electric eels can give you a shock. 
They have to live in caves under the sea
 where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers.                               

(Christopher, age 7)                                                          
11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, 
it is very cold, 
and it makes my willy small.  (Kevin, age 6)                                              

12)  -  Divers have to be safe when they go 
under the water.   
Divers can't go down alone, 
so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)   

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. 
She fell off when she was going very fast. 
She says she won't do it again because 
water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)                                  

14)  -  The ocean is made up of water and fish. 
Why the fish don't drown
 I  don't know. (Bobby, age 6)                                               

15) - My dad  was a sailor on the ocean. 
He knows all about the ocean. 
What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor 
and married my mom. (James, age 7)    

If you didn't  smile at one of these,
 you need to find a better sense of humor.
Thank you to my wonderful new friend 
and follower Chris Hooker!

She sent this,
 I just had to share it....


  1. Very sweet! ciao from Newport Beach!

  2. HI Kelly! soooo funny, I did indeed laugh..a lot! thanks for the chance to just be silly for a minute or two!

    And thanks for visiting CP earlier...I'm still enjoying my Ojai olive oil..I guess I kind of keep it to myself..hehe!



  3. I snorted out loud... these are hysterical! Thanks for the laugh~

  4. I am a teacher & I find it hard to believe that kids at the ages listed knew some of the words used.

  5. I needed this today. Thanks for making me smile!! ;)
    Happy Friday.

  6. Oh, I soooo needed this today. I'm still laughing, and I've already printed it out and posted it on the fridge so every around here can get a laugh too. Thanks for sharing! Have a fantastic weekend.

  7. That is hilarious and definitely made me smile and LOL! Thanks for sharing! I'm still laughing!

  8. I know!!!!! I realize this has absolutely nothing to do with anything.... but sometimes ya just gotta lighten up a bit and have a good chuckle.

    Kids say the funniest things don't they?

    kelley ; 0 )

  9. LOL, some of these were just hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!

    Kat :)

  10. Number 13 made me pee a little bit!
    Thanks for the laugh.


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