The tomato invasion......or LRSH sauce

Now I ask you.....what should I do with all of these tomato's? 
 Is that a dumb question?
A friend of mine told me the other day...there is no such thing as a dumb question...just a dumb answer.

Moving right along..hmmmm maybe some sauce?  
Dumb answer:  Yes 
Or as my mother in law, who hails from the cold and desperate landscape of northern Minnesota would say:
 " ya sure, yoo betcha"
Chop chop...all of the plum tomatoes go in the pan.  
About 12 cups.... maybe more
Lots of red and yes...did I mention I am sick of tomatoes?
 I am so sick of tomato's,  I have started calling  them by their more common name: 
" the little red shit heads" or LRSH for short
So we are simply cooking the LRSH's over medium...not to difficult.  
This is my GE electric cook top in Ojai and it has two temperature settings: Cold and Hell. 
 I said it was set to medium but it's really on Hell
Basil in the sauce?  
Why yes that would be nice.  A bit buggy looking...
Sauce looks good and cooked down to about half in 10 minutes on the Hell setting
Into the  food mill it remove the pulp first
No food mill? 
Your sauce will probably come out really awful

I'm not kidding...really bad
Now it goes through the mill  a second time through a finer sieve to remove the seeds.  
Oooo la la
 Now that's some good lookin' LRSHS (little red shit head sauce)
Spunned da bugs out in my trusty salad spinner...
and yes..."spunned" is a word we use alot here in Ojai
As in..."that car just spunned out of control and ran over Hank's cat"
Meet my BFGSH's...going for a swim in the boiling water for a quick blanch so we can get the skin off
Big red SH's aka the Early girls
After the blanch, into a cold water bath...blanch the basil too while your at it, because if there are any bugs left they will be dead now and much less noticeable
Peel, and chop the BGSH's and the RSH's too
Saute some garlic and add in all of the chopped SH's at once
You can freeze the extra basil in an ice cube tray if you want to pretend your Martha Stewart...which I like to do at least once a week, in the privacy of my home....naked, wearing only a vintage apron and gardening clogs.
SH sauce looks really good and we are cooking it down a bit on the Hell setting to break down the whole SH's until they are soft
I'm going to process about half of the SH sauce in the food processor
This makes a finer sauce but it is still really chunky
Now we are adding back in the sauce I made earlier from the little SH plum tomato's.
This was about 48 ounces

And here it is:  Kelley's famous 
Little Red Shit Head Pasta Sauce

Bon Appetite

PS Now get to work and quit spunning your wheels
  1. The LRSHs totally cracked me up. And don't worry, the hell setting will kill the bugs and add a little protein.

  2. omg
    I made the BEST tomato soup today from yesterdays' harvest ... shall I send it your way?

  3. you are too funny! martha needs to move over, kelly is in the house!

  4. wow, an electric stove. kelley i'm shocked, you?

    i feel like swimming in that sauce it looks so good.


  5. Can't you just hear Julia Child on television announcing to the PBS world at large that she will now be preparing a french version of:
    "little red shit head pasta sauce"

    and yes I will gladly take any recipe for LRSH's that any one is will to part with. : ) kelley

  6. I ment to type "willing" I swear....

  7. You are too funny :) We wait and wait for our tomatoes to ripen, only to find out by week 3 that we are SICK of them already! Haha
    And that Martha comment.....LOL! Did you ever see that SNL skit where the actress playing Martha was always topless?! Hysterical!

  8. Mine are rotting on the counter as we speak. I just had to have that garden!


  9. Oh I say tomatoes-she says tomahtoes-you say little red sh**heads! lol Isn't it amazing how we long for those first red little suckers to show up and then we are so glad to see the last one splat down the garbage disposal? Yeah...I do that! Thanks for the fun post! Diana

  10. You crack me up! The last time I successfully grew tomatoes, I felt just that way...only they were BIG, HUGE SHs. That's the time I learned how to can tomatoes (my neighbors were running away from my tomatoes...or maybe it was from me).

    I'll send you a recipe for Pomodore with Butter...perfect summer/hot weather sauce, using plum tomatoes.
    Jane (Artfully Graced)

  11. Oh Kelley,

    I think Janet's potty mouth has rubbed off on you!!!! lol. Funny post.

    Tasmania, Australia

  12. Ah yes.... my potty mouth...I have it some of the time, but mostly I speak from my heart. Hope no offense was had by any one!

    Those who follow regularly know what I write about and how I really look at the world.

    This occasional digression from the regular stuff is all in the name of fun!

    Hope you swear at your veggies's good therapy!

    And the best part is they never swear back.....k

    PS the little buggers that have not been cooked have now been frozen...solid

  13. Kelley,
    My little shit heads are still effing green! Does that mean that they are called BFGSH's? You cracked me up with this post--I had to read it to Gary who is always making stuff with our pathetic home grown produce. Something with teeth is eating our LRSH tomatoes. A rabbit? Anyway, Thermador commercial range in Asti only works on the Hell setting. No simmering at all. It's a struggle. You are too funny! xo Delores

  14. You and Janet are too funny!!! Our tomatoes did not do well in the crappy dreary weather this summer...:(


  15. haha I'm so glad I called back and am laughing at the new comments after mine. I'm glad we can all have a laugh Kelley. So much in this day and age is awful, and so serious, glad we are all on the same page!!! Speaking of cooktops that have one speed, my mixmaster has only one speed and that is flat out, it makes mixing things that only need to be done gently, very challenging!!! OOOOHHHHH bugger, in my ignorance thought that was a word that us Aussies only used. Obviously not. Lol
    Will call in again soon.
    Take care
    Tasmania, Australia

  16. Kelley,
    you're hilarious and you'd be a hoot to cook with during a dinner party....hey, my LSH's haven't even produced ONE tomato!!!! Seriously! I've never had that happen.
    But we're in Austin and we just don't have that wonderful growing climate for veggies like CA....I mean we can grow veggies here, but CA's are so much more abundant! The heat is just brutal here in the late summers & it takes the fun out of gardens when the heat brews up!
    Also, we planted our tomatoes this yr in a spot where it gets some sun, but probably not enough. We've had the yellow flowers, thinking a tomato would sprout,but no luck! Any words of wisdom?
    We can successfully grow many hot peppers next to the tomato plants though!

  17. Your post really got me laughing this morning! I will most certainly use your LRSH sauce recipe as now that our tomatoes are FINALLY coming in, I'm experiencing some major pregnancy heartburn. This poses a problem because we planted a gazillion tomato plants! Canning some LRSH sauce is a great solution.
    Happy first of September to you!

  18. omg, you are too funny! I'm up here in Mill Valley and my SH's aren't even ripe yet!!!! I'm hoping this week to get my first few San Marzanos and heirlooms.

    Thanks for a great laugh this morning.

  19. You are totally had me cracking up!!!! LOL..Your sauce looks wonderful though...II bet it was delicious!?!?!!

  20. ya you betcha, don't ya know I'm checkin my stove right now for the hell setting. I'm still chuckling over this post, but it sure did inspire me to use up the ton of basil I have right now! Enjoy your feast!

  21. You crack me up...thanks for the early mornin' laugh ;o)

  22. Thanks for a good laugh! Our pitiful tomato plants produced just a handful of small tasteless tomatoes. Looks like we'll be eating Ragu for a while!
    Hugs, Sherry


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